I thought I was going crazy

I'm a pretty even-keel type o' gal, really. And I am usually one of the most level-headed folks I know. I have a reputation for being "solid", and the folks I work with often look to me for stability and reassurance. So, imagine how bizarre it was, when I started to "lose it" over stupid little stuff.

Little things that used to not bother me at all, started to infuriate me. Sudden rushes of rage!!! would wash over me, and I'd find myself slamming the car door much harder than usual -- and harder than it needed to be slammed. My moods started to swing all over the place. I snapped at people for no good reason, sometimes saying things out loud that took everyone completely by surprise -- including me! I couldn't sleep. I was gaining weight, even though my lifestyle was more active than ever.

None of it made sense! I was 38 years old, and all that I'd worked for -- my reputation at work, my clarity of thought, my level-headed experience -- seemed like it was slipping from my grasp. I was nervous... no, I was actually panicked, at times. I couldn't let it show, of course, but in the back of my mind, I wondered if all the stress of my job wasn't taking a toll on my sanity. I wondered if I could even handle the stress, or if I should quit my career completely...

How would I provide for myself and my family? How would I make ends meet? What if I couldn't work? What if I was losing my mind? What if I'd never get another full night's sleep, ever again?! The what-ifs kept me up at night, even more than my insomnia did. My whole world seemed to be shifting and disintegrating around me, and I was helpless to stop it...

Then, one day, I had a hot flash. I mean, a real, honest-to-goodness hot flash! It didn't make any sense. I wasn't even 40 years old, yet, and I'd always been told that I'd have at least till my mid-40's to think/worry/concern myself with menopause.

But then I did some research... Sure enough, all the things that had been freaking me out -- insomnia, mood swings, memory lapses, unexplained weight gain, and sweating through the night, were all part of a pattern. I started taking notes about what was going on with me, and I looked back on my journal entries about what changes I'd been going through, over the past couple of years.

When I took a closer look at my day-to-day "symptoms," I realized I was slowly but surely starting menopause.

Menopause! It's a scary thought. I've heard all the stories... How I'll have wild mood swings that make me cry one minute, and laugh the next -- and scare away everyone around me... How I'll have hot flashes that make me want to rip off all my clothes in public... How I'll "dry up" and have less sex drive... How I'll start losing bone mass and possibly develop osteoporosis... Menopause is not an experience I've been looking forward to. But I'm a woman, and I'm... well... 40-ish, so there's no avoiding it.

No, there's no getting around the inveitable onset of menopause. But then I discovered something entirely by accident. I never expected to find this out, but here it is...

When I kept track of my perimenopause, and I keep abreast of the changes my body was going through, my symptoms actually decreased. For some reason, just knowing that the changes happening were normal and healthy, took the pressure off. And when the pressure came off me, my stress level dropped. And when my stress level dropped, I was able to relax and just live my life, without constantly second-guessing myself and making myself crazy with all kinds of criticisms about being "nuts" or "stupid" or "senile".

But all my notes were scattered everywhere. It was hard to keep track, one month to the next, about how my body was doing, and what it was doing, and what I was thinking and feeling and experiencing. It's bad enough being disoriented and having memory lapses, but my lapses had to do with information I needed access to on a daily basis, and there was a lot of information, to keep track of, too! Plus, when I went to my doctor and tried to think back on my symptoms, so I could describe them to her, well, I was at a loss.

So, I created something to help me keep track of my changes, and it actually makes the whole experience of perimenopause a lot less traumatic for me in many ways. It's the Cycle Calendar, a five-year monthly menopause minder, which I designed as one single place where I can keep track of all my symptoms and experiences.

When I started using the Cycle Calendar to write down all my symptoms and experiences from day-to-day -- the unexpected headaches (I never had headaches before)... the mood swings... the irregularities in my monthly cycle... the changes in my sex drive... the inexplicable weight gain... I actually felt better. No, it's not exactly comforting to know that I'm starting this phase of life, when so much of my body is changing and threatens to disrupt my regular life. But it is reassuring to know that what I'm experiencing is very normal. There's an explanation for all my mystery ailments, after all. The Cycle Calendar reminds me: There's nothing wrong with me! I'm just perimenopausal.

Plus, keeping track of my monthly cycles and symptoms allows me to actually manage my menopause. I can write down what I'm eating and see how it does (or doesn't) affect my moods and my weight. I can keep track of my symptoms and be able to tell my doctor at a glance, just when my last period was, how long it was, and what irregularities there were in the past months -- even the past years. I can record the frequency of my hot flashes, the intensity of my mood swings, fluctuations in my weight, the aches and pains... all the conditions that have puzzled me for months, now, and I can see them as part of a bigger picture -- my second puberty, if you will. The next phase of my evolving life.

Since I started using the Cycle Calendar, I've felt much more in control of my life. I have a better understanding of myself as a woman, on so many different levels. And having the Cycle Calendar for a central place to keep track of everything, takes the pressure off having to remember where I made notes about my period last month, or my hot flashes this month. That's essential. I have more and more things to remember, between my job and my household and my different activities... and now comes menopause... I used to keep all my observations about my health in different places... but now that my memory is "fading in and out," I tend to lose track of information I need -- sometimes at the worst times. But with the Cycle Calendar, I no longer have to worry about remembering where I put that stickie note about my mood swings last week... or on what page of my daily minder I recorded the surprise spotting. All my notes are in one place.

One of the nicest things about the Cycle Calendar, is its reminder that menopause doesn't go on forever. The change of life is about a 10-year process (it can be longer or shorter, depending on the individual woman). Seeing how my body and mind and emotions are changing over time, reminds me that eventually this change will come to an end, and I'll be able to resume my "regular" life without the interruptions of puzzling moodiness, hot flashes, "surprise" periods that interrupt my day, insomnia, and all the other symptoms that are specific to menopause.

Sure, every woman is different, and I might continue to have some of these symptoms after "I'm done," but full-blown menopause doesn't go on forever, and the Cycle Calendar reminds me of that. After all, I'm going through a process, not a permanent condition.

I can't control my change of life. But I can manage my menopause. And with the Cycle Calendar, I hope you can, too.

• Suited to your life - designed by a busy perimenopausal woman for other women like her
• Convenient - one handy place to keep track of your changes, instead of 50 different calendars and stickie notes
• Informative - includes information and insight on varieties of symptoms
• Timely - gives you a way to keep track of changes over time, not just day to day, month to month, but year to year
• Flexible - lists common symptoms, but also allows room for others, has room for notes and references
• Roomy - big enough for notes, but not too big to fit in your briefcase
• Value priced - $9.95 for 5 years of record-keeping
• Versatile - available in print or electronic format

The Cycle Calendar - Print Version
100 Pages
6x9 in.
Coil-bound
$9.95 + s/h

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The Cycle Calendar - eBook
Immediate Download
$9.95

Download a free 1-year sample (PDF)